Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence and a Bad Haircut (P.J. O’Rourke, 1995)

ISBN 0-330-35731-X

Not an autobiography in the usual sense of being a narrative about the author’s life; but a kind of literary sampler drawn from the length of O’Rourke’s writing career, and incidentally chronicling his changing political outlook from naive left-wing student socialist (weren’t we all?) to ... er ... whatever he is now.

The first half or so of the book comprises O’Rourke’s early writing which, aside from some promising short stories (well, I quite liked An Inquiry into the Nature of Good and Evil, anyway) is frankly rubbish. I got as far as p. 227 (out of only 340) before finding anything worth slipping in a bookmark for. But it gradually improves and, at some point around his Speech Given to Libertarians, he begins slagging off the Clintons – as if they needed the help – and clicks in to the old familiar groove from there.

Some vintage stuff to give you the flavour:

‘Juan was in San Cristóbal doing his anthropology thesis on the positive effects of tourism on indigenous peoples. His thesis was that there weren’t any.

‘"But what about the money the Indians get from selling, um, small pieces of embroidery?" I said.

‘"That money goes to the sellers," said Juan. Therefore Juan’s thesis was that people who don’t make money from tourism, don’t make money from tourism.’ (pp. 250-251)

And, on politics:

‘When a reward or distinction goes to someone who doesn’t deserve it, why do we say, "It was politics"? When we call a person "a real politician," is it a compliment? Are the words office politics ever used to describe anything good that happened at work? How often do we have occasion to call someone an "ethical hack," a "spiritual hack," or a "philosophical hack"? And what does the term political appointee bring to mind? Do you suppose Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders is much of a surgeon? Would you let her perform your vasectomy?

Mexicans had an election. Nothing happened. God bless them. Mexicans know that the world doesn’t need more politics, it needs more lunch.’ (p. 260)

And, on politicians:

‘You say we’re distracting Clinton from the business of government. Well I hope so. Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. Or like getting a dog to stop chewing on your wallet, anyway.’ (p. 268)

Recommendation: Second half recommended for fans only, and even fans may want to spare themselves the effort of reading the final chapter, Bad Sports.

Look and Feel: My edition is the usual matt-finish paperback.

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